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class="">1</span>次</span> </p> <div id="euuy224" class="art_words"><p>現(xiàn)在很多家庭，家長和孩子溝通往往不得法，結(jié)果不是孩子生氣就是，家長生氣，往往不歡而散。那么，父母與孩子不恰當?shù)臏贤ǚ绞接心男┠?我們在生活中恐怕都有見聞以及體會，屈指一算會有很多種，歸納一下，我認為可以分為這三種類型：</p><p>一是高冷溝通型。這種家長視孩子為私有財產(chǎn)，只許服從，不許有任何異議，沒有尊重孩子獨立思想和人格的姿態(tài)，與孩子交談總是高高在上、盛氣凌人，聲色俱厲，沒說幾句話就以呵斥，甚至打罵相加。在此情況下，孩子不可能與你交流真正的思想，處于嚴重的抗拒和逆反狀態(tài)。</p><p>二是溺愛溝通型。有些家長視孩子的話為圣旨，說一不二，溝通中不講原則，不分是非，在孩子面前唯唯諾諾，不舍得指出孩子思想中不正確的地方，對孩子一味遷就、回避、默許乃至慫恿，使得孩子的壞毛病越來越多，不正確思想越來越頑固。</p><p>三是不正經(jīng)溝通型。有的家長在孩子面前比孩子還要孩子，性格上很不穩(wěn)定，自己高興時，孩子的思想是圣人思想，自己不高興時，孩子的思想就是強盜思維。出爾反爾，想起一出是一出，沒個準譜，時間長了，孩子都不知如何跟家長溝通交流。</p><p>這些交流溝通類型，自然產(chǎn)生不恰當?shù)臏贤ǚ绞?，也就無法起到“園丁”修剪“樹苗”的作用。</p><p>作為家長，要把握溝通的有效性，就應(yīng)當掌握正確的溝通方式，其前提是要以平等的朋友關(guān)系和體貼的長輩關(guān)系入手，并把握好以下幾點：</p><p>一是要創(chuàng)造和諧的溝通氛圍，這是實現(xiàn)溝通的前提;</p><p>二是要善于傾聽，要循循善誘，讓孩子把自己的想法和盤托出，不能一聽不和己意，就粗暴打斷;</p><p>三是要以商量的口吻和孩子溝通，千萬不能以命令的口氣說話，這會引起孩子的反感;</p><p>四是要適時對孩子好的思想進行鼓勵，加強正面引導。好孩子是夸出來的。</p><p>五是不要抱著一蹴的思想，要允許孩子在成長過程中有幼稚甚至錯誤的想法。溝通教育中，也不要幻想一次談話就會糾正過來，要有循序漸進的思想準備。</p><p>六是要理解和尊重孩子。隨著時代的前進，年輕人的有些思想，上輩人可能確實一時難以理解。但不理解不等于是錯的，這需要長輩加強學習，跟上時代前進的步伐。</p><p>方法正確是成功的基礎(chǔ)。我想，把握這幾點，一定會取得良好的效果。</p></div> 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